The Day I Understood Grief — Jea Wanders

I do know this isn’t journey associated. However please permit me to let my feelings out.


The day I understood grief was the day when my father handed away.

I misplaced 3 of my grandparents years in the past. It was unhappy, and I miss them.

However consider me, dropping a guardian hits totally different.

Grief. Humorous the way it took 30 years for me to totally perceive this one single phrase.

Actually, I not often say condolences to different individuals who misplaced somebody.

Maybe, I don’t actually perceive what it means.

I solely comprehend it’s unhappy, however I have no idea the way it pains the deepest a part of your soul.


One thing that your thoughts alone wouldn’t be capable of grasp.

One thing you’ll not comprehend by taking it’s definition, nor by analysis, not even by different individuals’s experiences.

You must let your self undergo it to know what it’s.

It is advisable really feel it and see for your self.

That’s why nobody’s prepared for it.

There’s no coaching.

There’s no curriculum.

You can’t put together your self for it.

You can’t examine it, you possibly can solely expertise it.

And that is the toughest half:

You possibly can disguise it, however you positively can’t escape from it.

Even Jesus Himself wasn’t exempted [John 11:35].

You can’t consolation one other grieving particular person if you happen to haven’t skilled it your self.


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My Commencement Day, Might 15, 2012


Might 15, 2022 – this marks the day of my enlightenment.

It’s when my father, who was a stroke affected person for 8 full years, left the earth to be with the Lord.

He’s a accountable, candy, trustworthy, and loving father.

He isn’t good, however he’s the perfect Dad for me.

I’ll always remember all his sacrifices for us.

All his jokes, his laughter, his love for music and scrumptious meals, his intelligence, his bubbly character.

I miss him like I haven’t seen him in 1,000,000 years.


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I used to be the final one he noticed earlier than he was taken from the emergency room.

I used to be additionally the primary one who noticed him after he died.

And that is probably the most heartbreaking half for me.

Within the morgue, I used to be ordered to substantiate if the corpse is right (as per protocol).

It hurts a lot to see him inside a black bag on a stretcher, lifeless.

I used to be the one one who noticed him lifeless, with out make up and barong and all of the flowers round.

I used to be the one one who noticed him when he was not wanting like he’s simply sleeping.

His battle from the sickness was actually evident.

Gosh, I hate this. I received’t be capable of erase that sight from my reminiscence, ever.

It made the ache amplify a thousand fold.



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I could also be grieving now and I don’t know when it can finish.

However what I do know is that God will stroll me by.

As a result of I do know He is aware of the way it feels.

As a result of I do know He skilled it Himself.

The individuals round me might not absolutely comprehend.

However I discover consolation in figuring out that God understands every thing.

He is aware of.

As a result of He Himself got here right down to earth to expertise each hardship, each emotion.

He’s not a god simply sitting comfortably on His throne.

It was Him giving us a promise that He understands every thing.

And that there’s an finish in each ache.

As a result of regardless of how laborious life might get, there’s nonetheless a promise of a sorrow-free eternity with Him.

The place there’s no extra ache, no extra struggling.

And that’s solely by Christ, our solely hope.

The God who made the heavens and the earth.

Our Heavenly Father who watches over us.


As an individual who’s at all times simply misunderstood, I discover consolation in the truth that my God is aware of how I really feel.

And that He understands what I’m going by.


Mahal kita Dadi ko. Magkikita pa tayo muli.



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